The Tipsy Decade

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While I didn’t go to my high school reunion (so you can take a breathe I’m not necessarily talking about you) it appears that this magical window between the ages of 30 and 40 that certain things manifest.  Like wrinkles and sun damage, there are things that if not dealt with, come up during this time.  Which makes the pursuit of relationships or dating just that more interesting.  Substance abuse.  While it may be hidden, or may not have become complete dependence, during this age decade, it becomes obvious if it hasn’t already.   According to the Center for Disease Control here is the difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse: 

Alcohol abuse⁴ is a pattern of drinking that results in harm to one’s health, interpersonal relationships, or ability to work. Manifestations of alcohol abuse include the following:

• Failure to fulfill major responsibilities at work, school, or home.
• Drinking in dangerous situations, such as drinking while driving or operating machinery.
• Legal problems related to alcohol, such as being arrested for drinking while driving or for physically hurting someone while drunk.
• Continued drinking despite ongoing relationship problems that are caused or worsened by drinking.
• Long-term alcohol abuse can turn into alcohol dependence.

Dependency on alcohol, also known as alcohol addiction and alcoholism⁴, is a chronic disease. The signs and symptoms of alcohol dependence include—

• A strong craving for alcohol.
• Continued use despite repeated physical, psychological, or interpersonal problems.
• The inability to limit drinking.

While the difference between dependence and abuse are a physiological, these are issues that have to be dealt with.  It seems during this magical decade, there are more people that either come to terms with the fact they have issues around their use of substances or their issues get the better of them.    The excuses will vary from “oh I’ve driven before with way more alcohol in my system” or “they made a mistake and threw me in jail.”  But the bottom line is this:  If you don’t deal with the fact that you are making choices to continue to use a substance in spite of the fact that it is causing you problems, then you have a problem. 

When it comes to dating during this magical decade, it’s one more thing  in the equation.  So, that bad divorce where the wife was so unreasonable becomes evident when he misses your date because he never left happy hour.  Or she doesn’t quite make it through wine at dinner without getting a little sloppy.  But there is a silver lining.  With help, people can recover.  They can have happy relationships and move on with their lives.  And the solutions are simple and easy to find and sometimes “anonymous”.