Website Reviews

Yes, I spend a LOT of time reading blogs.  Some are better than others.  Some I choose to share for various reasons.  Here's a couple to check out:

It's funny, insightful and clever while remaining approachable.  It could be that he looks like a friend of mine? But seriously, Nando offers some spicy dish on dating, life, relationships and even some grooming advice, and yes, he has a book too.

Anatomy of a Pilot is the brainchild of a very good friend of mine, Kristina Meek.  What does this have to do with dating and relationships?  Nothing.  But it's a very good example of a blog with a niche and resourceful to those looking for insights into the formula and story that goes into writing a tv pilot.  And could save you some time in actually watching one, discovering that you really don't like it.  So in essence, you may not have to waste your time watching one of these shows and spend more time, perhaps, dating or doing something else.

Maneaters Blog sounds fierce, right?  It sounds like a ball-busting, man-hating, angry bunch of women who want nothing more than to chew men up and spit them back out or, well, hmm.  But there is more to this blog than an angry rant against men who have 'done you wrong'.  It's oriented towards women who want to stop "playing the victim and owning their love life."  Angela Jordan writes on topics such as learning to love yourself first, practicing some self honesty while mixing it up with some other how-to's on sex and dating and some of her own experiences. 

Not that this is turning into an advice column

But I thought I'd share, not sure who the author is but really funny:

20 Clues a Woman Should Call it a Night

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt wiggling while yelling "Woo-Hoo" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. hoagie on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not at all hungry), pick it up, and carry on eating it.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the creepy guy sitting next to me.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just soda, but that's just because I can no longer taste the vodka.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's up when I sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the button's open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the washroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight

The Blogspot

Most of the research I do is online.  The digital age has given the world opportunities we didn't have before and some opportunities that shouldn't be taken.  This week I ran across a story where a blogger decided to post her thoughts about a online date and how that really came back to haunt her.   It left me thinking about how the digital age has created a virtual bathroom wall scrawling that anyone can see and no one can report the scribbler to the principle.  Or can they?  In this case, the backlash came in the form of actual story, which is a little ridiculous in some ways, this is news?  But how often do I hear stories about cyber-bullying, stalking and other horrifying ways that people treat each other that lead to violence and even death?  And while the exact nature of this blogger's post were questionable if not mean-spirited, does the internet provide us sounding boards of things that maybe we think and should never speak or ways to demean and humiliate people in a very public way in order to gain some sort of narcissistic attention?  Or all of the above?   People have blogs for many reasons.  I have two, one for this project and another for my personal writing.  Why?  Because I like attention?  Yes.  And because I like having an outlet for my writing and thoughts.  Mostly I'm looking for connection.  It's a way of self-publishing.  So when writing a blog or posting on Facebook or a board and it's mean, what are people looking for?  An outlet for their rage?  For people to think they're funny?  But when it's at someone's expense, is it still funny?  Or is it just mean?  And if you're dating, are you blogging about dating because you're looking for connection or something that others can relate to?  Or are you looking to humiliate someone else?  Someone who rubs your 'blogspot' the right or wrong way may not take too kindly to appearing in cyberspace as fodder for the masses.  Then again, neither may the masses.

Website review - Date Like a Grown Up

In my looking up various search terms and seeing what comes up, I found Bobbi Palmer's website dedicated to women over 40.  Considering the fact that she married for the first time at the age of 47 and that her former corporate career involved team building and coaching, she just might have that life experience that can be shared for those who find themselves still dating in their 40's.  Yes, she's selling a book but doesn't everyone?  Her message is pretty positive and goes beyond just dating do's and dont's and more into self-inquiry and self-care. 
I'm traveling at the moment and will not attempt to blog or email as Mom's internet is dial-up (gasp!)

Website review - Sweet on Geeks

"Sweet on Geeks A Space Where Gray Matters" aptly describes the website designed for and catered to the geek looking for love.  At a low membership price ($5 a month take that Ewwharmony and Mismatched dot com) the site offers members options like joining groups of shared thought or interest (Buffy fans, The Klingon Empire) making this part social network part dating site.  Their newsletter touts various success stories including one couple who was married by a computer.  You can have friends, you can wink at people, now only if you could teleport to a date, that would make this site complete.

The Professionals

Last week I was having a much long overdue conversation with a good friend who is a retired writer for a big network about writing.  I am terribly honored and grateful to have this friend, who believes in me and my work.  We were discussing the former play and the subject turned to the oldest profession and his idea came in the form of a character for the play.  My response, 'her name is Sally.'
I like to call them "The Professionals."  Now, they vary in services and terminology, but ultimately, there is a form of dating going on and sometimes what they are looking for is a little less love and a little more tangible, economically.  When I did the interviews for the Dating Pool, one of our subjects was a former escort.  'Sally' was also a former dancer, in the non-ballerina kind of dancing but more pole persuasion.  And while she implied that she did not actually exchange money for more intimate aspects of her company, she would be a rare spot in that business.
So in her participation, we got some extra insight into the world of professional dating.  Which leads me to a great article that I just saw on The Good Men Project about the 'sugar-daddy syndrome.' A much more formalized approach to the pay to play world of escorts and more of an ongoing relationship.  Sugar Daddy & Sugar Baby Blog, Seeking Arrangement all getting some mainstream attention to this type of "dating".   Are these a more carved out explanation of arrangements for a relationship, including financial compensation, or is this the oldest profession in another disguise? 
It doesn't help me as a writer to offer judgements about people about "what they're doing."  Instead, I think that these are all a part of a very human experience in this life.   There are many reasons people do things.  It's better for me to put myself in someone else's shoes than offer reasons why in my morality, something is right or wrong.  I believe I come to a greater understanding of humanity that way.

Men, Men and More Men

Granted, I can't really post about all the blogs I'm finding and the twits I'm following but these were too hard not to mention.  First Guyliner, a gay dating blog in which one man's quest into the online dating world becomes the next blog post.  These stories are totally relatable, including this one, where if you've ever been a little scatter-brained and not paying attention to who you're talking to you just might end up on a date with the wrong person.  The other, a non dating site but needless to say an opportunity to increase your vocabulary, perhaps, with another f*cking word.  And last, The Good Men Project, which warms my heart to the very core and goes against all the stereotypes about what men think and talk about.   They're breaking all the codes of silence and talking about issues that men face from eating disorders to mental illness.  Thank you for making my time in the web today well spent.

Met Another Frog - website review and thoughts of all small/big towns

Found this website while cruising another blog.  Dating, sexual escapades and how-to's, oh my.  This online magazine even hosts events like the one just jumping across the pond for  online hotties to come and share their stuff and seduce most eligible bloggers with their words.   A way to get your words out and catch someone's attention beyond the screen. 
   As I do more research, especially here in San Diego, I'm finding nothing quite like this kind of event here.  I find a lot of "singles mixers" and a lot of "Meetups" with the singles in mind.   But aren't some of those "singles mixers" a lot like going to a bar and getting phone numbers?  Sure, they can edit them to make it a little swanky, a little more exclusive in terms of income or interests but truly, people can lie about those online as well as offline.   I'm also finding a lot of defunct blogs.  People who have jumped off the "dating experience blog" and ended their online rants.  Some for reasons of they have nothing more to say.  And some are trying to get their dating grove back and not hate being single.  In this quest to find love, I find the only suitable advice I would give is to just be kind to yourself. 

Red Flag 101 website review

There's a lot of dating sites, advice columns, out in the wacky wonderful web but here's one I found fun and entertaining.  The brain child of someone who was burnt to a crisp by a relationship, he offers a candid and detailed explanation of what went wrong and what he chose not to look at.   Someone close to me had an eerily similar experience in a relationship went wrong.  As most of the sites I've looked at have been run by or oriented to women, this site gives another side and sometimes surprising perspective. 

The Single Woman

Here's another one I found, got to following on Twitter.  Mandy Hale is the author.  Her posts are mostly uplifting and her blogs are a little Sex in the City-ish and little self help.  In fact, she's been called the Carrie Bradshaw of Music City (Nashville).   Her advice column appears in the Nashville Examiner.   And for my research purposes, I'm going to try and pursue an interview with her for many reasons.  First, she's in a different part of the country, literally the 'country' music capital of the world.  Her take and experience deals with a demographic of men that I'm assuming is a lot different from southern California.  Secondly, she's at a particular age where I find a lot of women start to freak out, really freak out.  Or end the relationship they're in for search of something different and hopefully better.  Check out one of her stories here. 

Featured Blog/Website: eekHarmony

So in doing research or rather, having friends point me in directions, I come across websites, bloggers, and overall fun things on the internet.  I'd like to introduce you eekHarmony.com, Deb Slater's response to all things dating.  You can find her on Facebook as well as some heavenly delicious pictures of, you guessed it, online profile pictures that many, many, many, men should have NEVER used.  Her site is full of her stories of her dating adventures and misadventures. Enjoy.

Questions

Here are some of the questions that most people ask about this project:

* Are you going to use my stories in your play?  Maybe, if they're really interesting and fit within the story I'm creating.  However, there are a number of websites, novels, shows dedicated to the subject of dating stories so unless the story is really interesting, maybe not?

* What are you using and why?  It's more about the experience of meeting people and hearing what they have to say that will contribute to the creation of this piece.  I'm taking the pulse of what's going on in this moment and seeing what people are saying, more than retelling of stories.

* Where could I see this play?  This play will have a public reading in San Diego and will be broadcast on the web.  If you participate in the project, you are invited to the first reading!